When ur an introvert it sort of gets easier in that I can spend long periods with human interaction. And I actively seek out solitude because if you don't know me, you won't be hurt.
All I need is a bottle by my side, and some stimulation such as the internet etc.
Of course, I can't ignore my chronic suicidality but it comes with the territory I guess. I feel a little calmer having chalked out a whole plan on how to go and how to avoid past mistakes.
It also helps to keep replaying all the instances that gave me bullet proof reasons to
1. Never get close to anybody
2. Never trust anybody and always watch your back
3. Anticipate what could go wrong so I'm not caught off guard
Of course none of this is positive or encouraging but I. Just. Can't. Anymore.
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